October 11, 2009

5 Weak Thoughts: Week 5

With the Bears on bye, I spent most of Sunday basking in the majesty of a couple of late-week fantasy transactions. While I am aware that talking about your fantasy squad is like telling people about a dream you had in that they'd never give a flying fuck, I'm going to do it anyway. But feel free to skip down to the bolded thoughts below if you can't stomach this sort of thing. For those of you still reading, everything seemed oh-so-bleak in my fantasy world a mere half week ago. My feeble structure was teetering because of the most tragic confluence of events -- the simultaneous bye week of my fantasy core.

Aaron Rodgers is the only QB on my roster. With this being his bye week, I picked up Matthew Stafford on Wednesday. But Stafford's banged-up-by-the-Bears knee made his status uncertain (he ended up not playing), so I had to troll the wire for someone else. These were my choices:
Derek Anderson
Kyle Boller
Matt Cassel
Kerry Collins
Jake Delhomme
Chad Henne
Shaun Hill
Josh Johnson
JaMarcus Russell
Pretty slim pickings, right? Using the theory that the Cowboys are terrible -- I actually thought they would lose to the horrid Chiefs -- and that their pass defense was even worse, I went with Cassel, who threw for 253 yards and two TDs and did not have a turnover. That was good for 24.92 points, which amounted to the best production of the QBs available. So that's pretty good, right? Well, that ain't the glory I be baskin' in.

I was also very thin at wide receiver this week, as both Greg Jennings and Johnny Knox -- don't laugh, in this league you get points for return yardage, making Knox the 6th-highest scoring WR -- were also on bye. Since I generally start two RBs, a TE, and 3 WRs (you can start up to four, if you go with one running back), this left me very thin at the position. As of Saturday morning, I was going to start Wes Welker, Mike Sims-Walker, and Mark Bradley. I didn't really want to start the Chiefs' Bradley, not just because he's not very good, but also since it basically amounted to doubling down on my Cassel pickup; if the QB struggled, I was screwed twice. Unfortunately, I just didn't have many options. But on Saturday night, I saw that the Cowboys' Roy Williams would not be active for the Chiefs game. I had been eyeballing a certain Dallas WR before our draft, and had been tracking his production since, and with Williams out, I decided to drop Bradley and pick him up instead. So I tossed one Miles Austin into my lineup. He put up 39.95 points for me, and I posted the highest score in the league despite having most of my offense on bye, and getting a big zero from Sims-Walker because of some retarded suspension. Definitely one of the far too few and fleeting gratifying moments among the thousands of hours I've blown on fantasy.

Sorry about that; I appreciate you indulging me. Onto the weak thoughts:

1. Consider the Broncos and Bengals validated.
Everyone keeps waiting for both these teams to turn into pumpkins, and it's just not happening. The Broncos posted what I would call their first impressive win, rallying to beat the Patriots. I don't care that the game was in Denver and that Tom Brady continues to look a little off. That was a huge W for the Broncos, and it cements their status as a legitimate contender. Additionally, Josh McDaniels -- who I thought had totally painted himself into a corner with his bizarre offseason machinations -- has to be the runaway choice for Coach of the Year at this point. At least in the early going, he appears to be very, very good.

I was actually more surprised by Cincinnati's win over the Ravens. I really thought Baltimore was one of the league's best team, and would have a very strong showing coming off a tough loss to the Pats. And maybe they did, but the Bengals were just better. Carson Palmer looks to have regained some of his pre-Kimo von Oelhoffen mojo, and the defense is actually making plays. They are legit.

These teams, a combined 9-1 -- with the one loss coming when they played each other -- are led by Kyle Orton and Cedric Benson, who leads the league in rushing yards. Roll that around in the ol' thinkblob for a while.

2. Even if they have to travel 2,500 miles, you do not want to play a good, well-coached team coming off a bye.
And the Atlanta Falcons are very well coached and very, very good. They absolutely shredded the 49ers defense, which had been looking pretty damn good before that game.* The Niners looked a lot like... well, the Niners, before Mike Singletary took over. I'm curious to see how they respond in two weeks in Houston , when they'll be coming off a bye of their own.

* NOTE: DO NOT BOTHER READING THIS IF YOU ARE SO SELF-OBSESSED THAT YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY OTHER FANTASY TEAM. A week after scoring 47 points for me in fantasy, the Niners D put up a negative-5. Plus, my opponent FTM had the Falcons D, which was good for 18 points. And because of the same bye week issues, I was starting Mark Sanchez (again instead of Rodgers), and had victory ripped away from me when review overturned a Sanchez-to-Braylon Edwards TD -- yes, his knee was down before he got the ball across, but it didn't look like he got touched (by Yeremiah Bell) until after. But Ronnie Brown righted the ref's wrong by scoring a TD with six seconds left to give me a 5-point win. Go Ich Bin Ein Berwyner!

It's tough to know after rookie coaches enjoy some success which ones are actually good coaches and which ones mostly benefitted from either an abundance of talent and/or not being the previous coach. But Mike Smith appears, from the outside looking in, to be excellent. Other than the Falcons-Bears game last year -- ugh, don't remind me -- I don't think I've seen Atlanta play, so I can't really say for certain how he is as a game tactician. But his team always seems exceptionally motivated and well-prepared, and in the NFL that's probably 90% of the battle. Combined with Matt Ryan and that running game, the Falcons are a mortal lock to return to the playoffs.

3. I don't know how bad Vince Young is but I have a hard time believing that he could be any worse than Kerry Collins.
I just don't understand VY's exile. I know he supposedly had to be coaxed into re-entering the first game of the season last year, but the guy was depressed. As someone who has been through that, it's not easy, and for him to not get a second chance -- especially considering that he did not miss any plays despite his reticence -- is just wronge. The guy is 18-11 as a starter. Granted, he hasn't exactly been Joe Montana in those games, but how many young QBs are?

Kerry Collins has been atrocious. If the roles were reversed -- that is, it was Young at the helm as the team sputtered out to an 0-5 start -- I guarantee that he would have been yanked by now, and getting the shit booed out of him. So what the hell is going on? Do his teammates just hate him? Does he not know the playbook? Did he nail Jeff Fisher's grandmother (and/or her corpse if she's dead)? What did he do that's so unforgivable?

Three seasons ago, Young was hailed as a savior. He was the Offensive Rookie of the Year, and looked to be a star in the making. I know he hasn't been great since, but it's like he gave Fisher gonorrhea or something. How did he turn into persona-non-grata so quickly? It doesn't make any sense. If they're not going to use him, they should just get rid of him. I'm sure the Raiders would happily give up three first-rounders in exchange.

4. God I hate Al Michaels.

5. Jack Del Rio should be fired immediately.
Seriously. The Jaguars performance against a pretty lousy Seahawks team was god awful. They looked like the 2008 Lions playing the 2007 Patriots. Yes, the Hawks were more-or-less healthy for the first time since their opener -- when they also looked very good -- but c'mon. 41-0? That's atrocious. A team with Jacksonville's talent level should not be losing by 41 points to anyone, let alone a middling NFC West squad. Coming off last season's 5-11 disaster, it's clear that Del Rio's days in Jacksonville are numbered. My guess is that barring a miracle turnaround, he will not be the Jaguars coach next season. And I'd expect Jacksonville's new head man to be the beneficiary of a not-being-the-previous-coach bump in performance.

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