A lovesong for alternating handedness

Good news, Cubs fans:

With Mike Fontenot being named the regular second baseman Saturday, the Cubs' lineup is beginning to take shape with left-handed batters spread throughout.

Fontenot is the projected sixth hitter, with Kosuke Fukudome in second and Milton Bradley fourth.

"I don't want to get caught with two left-handed hitters sixth and seventh or sixth and eighth at the tail end of the lineup," manager Lou Piniella said. "So 2-4-6 is a real nice way to break things up."

-- Dave van Dyck, Chicago Tribune, 3/15/09

My lede wasn't entirely facetious. While I would still rather have Mark DeRosa around, it is good news that Fontenot is starting. At a soon-to-be 29 with a career OPS+ of 110 -- a damn good figure for a middle infielder -- he deserves the chance to show that he can hold down an everyday job. He is an infinitely better option than 32-year-old Aaron Miles -- over whom the Trib sent me into a tizzy by inexplicably anointing him the starter when he signed -- and his career .329 OBP, so I applaud Piniella on his choice.

But let's get to the other part of this: the obsession with making the lineup "more balanced." Look, as the Cubs were getting ignominiously throttled clean out of the first round of the playoffs for the second year in a row, did anyone honestly think, 'If only they hadn't been so right-handed?' That was the reason you guys looked so terrible? I think everybody watching saw the same thing: The Cubs players -- with the exception of DeRo and Derrek Lee, both of whom, shockingly, hit right-handed -- folded under the pressure. As soon as Ryan Dempster allowed that grand slam to James Loney -- in the top of the fifth of Game 1, no less -- the series was, rather sadly, over. But instead of going out and getting players with more, um, intestinal fortitude, Hendry decided that their problem was they were too right-handed.

Just as a side note, who created this righty lineup that Hendry was saddled with? Oh yes, that's right, now I remember, it is the product of the incompetent boobery of Jim Hendry. This is, in large part, what happens when you sign to long-term contracts two right-handed guys (Lee and Alfonso Soriano) who can only play positions (first and corner outfield) that are largely the domain of lefties. Now again, I don't think there was any problem with the handedness of the lineup; however, if Hendry does, shouldn't he be held accountable for that?

So in his never-ending pursuit of a perfectly-balanced lineup -- and because he had two right-handed contract albatrosses manning 1B and LF -- Hendry got rid of the one guy who showed a pair (DeRosa) against the Dodgers. I mean, with their only home run and four of their six RBIs, DeRosa was undoubtedly the Cubs' MVP (if that's possible) in that series -- and perhaps for the season, with his versatility and unexpected punch -- and Hendry trades him to "balance the lineup." Huh? Really, the problem was that the guy playing DeRosa's position hit from the wrong side of the plate? I thought it was that you guys went into the fetal position at the first sign of adversity. Thank God Jim Hendry is here to set me straight.

One final thing, and I know it's a small sample size. Cubs left-handed position players in the Dodgers series: 6-for-29, 1 2B, 0 HR, 1 BB, 7K, .207 BA, .233 OBP, .241 SLG. The righties? 18-for-70, 7 2B, 1 HR, 4 BB, 15K, .257/.297/.400. However, before you sneer, keep in mind that without a certain second-baseman/utility man, the righties' line falls to .241/.290/.328, and that, undoubtedly, does make it more balanced.