Totally Topical Titillating Trivia Time, Dudes!

Alright, who wants to play a little game of What Do They Have in Common? Some of the answers will be incredibly straightforward and dull, and others will be ridiculously specific and obscure, so this promises to a rip-roarin' good time! To get you comfortable, we'll do the first one together. Remember, while the answer might in some cases be painfully obvious, it will be football-related, so nothing like They're all Capricorns with a cleft chin and a last name that ends with a vowel. Ready? Alright, if I were to ask for Question 1—just as I'm doing right now—what do the following players have in common:

Raymond Berry (2)

Fred Biletnikoff (3)

Charlie Joiner (3)

You would say, They're all Hall of Fame receivers! You might also say, What do those parenthetical numbers mean?, but we'll get to that in due time, my friend. In due time. For now, are you ready for the rest of the trios (answers after the last of 'em to prevent spoilage):

Question 2:

Donald Driver (2)

Ahman Green (1)

Jordy Nelson (4)

Question 3:

Davante Adams (4)

Antonio Brown (4)

Adam Thielen (2)

Question 4:

Dave Casper (4)

Tony Gonzalez (4)

Shannon Sharpe (2)

Question 5:

Rod Smith (3) 

Reggie Wayne (4)

Roddy White (3)

Answer 2:
Scored 60+ touchdowns for the Packers. With Sterling Sharpe, the only players not in the Hall of Fame to do so.

Answer 3:
Pro Bowl wide receivers last season (and likely again this one). Or, three of the six players (with Michael Thomas, Mike Evans, and DeAndre Hopkins) with 220+ receptions,  2800 yards, and 15 TDs since the beginning of 2016. Duh.

Answer 4:
They're tight ends. And for all practical purposes, Hall-of-Fame tight ends, although Gonzalez is technically as-yet unenshrined.

Answer 5:
800+ receptions, 10,000+ yards while playing entire career for one team. Also, they all managed to average the exact same yards per catch (13.4).

Well that was a bunch of pointless BS, you're potentially saying to yourself right now, perhaps in a somewhat less genteel manner. But it wasn't, exactly. Because if you look at the players from the five lists, all of them have something in common, and it's that stuff in the parentheses. In their first two seasons, those 15 players—along with other offensive stalwarts like Cliff Branch (3), Harold Carmichael (2), Derrick Mason (3), Muhsin Muhammad (1), and Wes Welker (1)—each had fewer than the five touchdowns scored by second-year Bears safety Eddie Jackson.

That's right. Eddie Jackson, who does not play offense, mind you, has scored more touchdowns in his first two seasons than 20 of the more prolific offensive players in the league's history.

Full disclosure: I'm not exactly the president of the Eddie Jackson Fan Club. His tackling—and, seemingly, his effort—sometimes leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, watch No. 39 here:

Following a Mitch Trubisky INT, Albert Wilson gets a 43-yard touchdown.pic.twitter.com/0Z5eiXn5qj

— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) October 14, 2018

That's ... not good. Nor was it much better on Wilson's 75-yard TD later in that maddening loss to the Dolphins. And so, after some similar play during the New England game, I sent this text which has aged particularly well:

It's apparent at this point that it's me. Because subpar tackling or no, the good clearly outweighs the bad with Eddie Jackson. And since none of the retired players on the list scored fewer touchdowns than Casper's 53, it's guaranteed that we have at least 48 more Jackson TDs to look forward to.