CDR Radio, Episode 51, Part I

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Everything came together kismet-like for CDR Radio's two-hour, one-year anniversary special, beginning with guest star Jon Hamm's Mad Men shooting schedule conflicting with his appearance, causing host Scott Aukerman to call on another Muffin' Man star, Tig Notaro, in his stead.

At a get-together the previous night with (among others) Garry Shandling, Sarah Silverman, Jack McBrayer, and Kevin Nealon-types, Scott got word of Jon's "pulling a Hammy." He immediately turned to Tig as his retroactive Plan A, and really played to that celebrity ego of hers by saying, "If I can't find anyone more famous to do this at this party, you're going to have to fill in."

So the self-proclaimed self-requested Tig was in studio with the Good One Robot, and spoke about her several brushes with Taylor Dayne. Upon running into the late-80's pop star a handful of times over a period of a few years, Tig mustered up the courage to utter the exact same phrase on every occasion: "Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you, but I just have to tell you -- I love your voice." Each time, Dayne replied with an entirely unique though typically dismissive response.

Following the conclusion of Tig's Taylor tales, the show was interrupted by a call from the Park La Brea police department, as one of CDR Radio's neighbors had complained about excessive noise. As visions of a much-anticipated third strike danced through Scott's head, the officer on the other end revealed himself as none other than friend-of-the-show John C. Reilly, calling via air-to-shore balloon phone from a gala balloon-based affair in honor of the show's anniversary.

With a bit of assistance from the always-helpful Scott, John C. eventually came to the shocking realization that a half-dozen does, in fact, equal six, and the receiver then made its way to fellow-partygoer and non-standard air travel enthusiast Ice-T, who revealed his tremendous affinity for Tig's 2001 Premium Blend still did not result in a media transfer of his old video cassette of the special to DVD.

Though the location of the balloon was unknown to T, he was relatively certain that they were hovering over Earth, and professed his love for "the amazing patchwork quilt that is the U.S. of America." Before handing the phone off to another balloon aficionado, T then repeated his request to Twitter nemesis Aimee Mann that she eat a hot bowl of dicks, going as far as to share an old family recipe for the delicacy.

Sir Dame Andrew Lloyd Webber, aboard the balloon due to the English's grand tradition of floating, shared the horrors of balloon war, and the conveyance's worst enemy, the slingshit. Although ALW got a tad offended when he felt like he was being hustled off the balloon phone, that did not prevent him from procuring for Scott a very special gift in honor of the show's Paper Anniversary, and thanking him "for all the laughs and for the long stretches of awkward silence."

After getting off the phone, Scott and Tig welcomed Jesse "The Body" Ventura to the studio. Ventura was grateful to be back at CDR Radio, where he claimed to have met a number of free-thinkers, most prominently fellow question-asker Huell Howser.

Ventura revealed that in order to find out what's really happening in America today, the two of them had formed a for-hire investigative team, Enigma Force Five (EFF). Ventura then alluded to the suspicious nature of the immediate rescue response to 9/11, which was devoid of non-New-York-based firefighters due to a stand-down order from the highest levels of our military-industrial complex.

One of the stated missions of EFF -- for which Ventura serves as sergeant at arms and treasurer -- is to get to the bottom of the 9/11 cover-up. Huell has both presidential and vice-presidential duties, but wasn't quite sure what the secretary of an organization does, and when Scott pointed out that he/she would take notes as Ventura was feverishly doing, he was challenged to a one-fall wrestling match.

In the process, Ventura revealed much of his medical history, which apparently contains several strokes, a term with which Huell is unfamiliar. Also unfamiliar to him: New York City. However, Huell proved he can name several townships within California's borders, even while getting the third degree from Scott and Tig. Ventura, however, took offense to the relentless interrogation of his partner, and believed it proved, once and for all, that Indie 103 is part of the many-headed hydra that is News Corp.

Ventura then talked about hitting the road in the rented-yet-custom EFF vehicle with Huell and a camera, and "not editing ... ever." As the Good One Robot made a last-minute reappearance, Ventura -- always wary of technology -- questioned its programming. With his android-based fears ultimately quelled, he headed off with Huell to the latter's desert abode, where they will get a 360-degree view of nothing, and film it for Huell's new show, Just Lookin'.